The mighty Fiat 500 vs Tenerife

Take to the roads…

Once Bear was behind the wheel of our ever-masculine Fiat 500 the possibilities were limitless, or the height of a mountain and the width of a nudist beach…
In true Bear fashion, our first outing was a little un-mapped, he basically pointed to the tallest peak in view and decided we must be able to get up it; so off we set, with a full-tank and a worryingly limited supply of water.
The scenic route to the mountain led us on to roads through some beautiful little towns. We passed through Santiago Del Teide on account of replenishing our water supply, Gingers and heat spells dehydration people, so we parked up and went for a little wander.
There was a beautiful decorative arch at the “Fuente dela virgin” literally just next to the foot path, crossing the arch bridge over the narrow river led to a mountain rocky-trail picketed with white crosses, it does get rather rocky under-foot so we didn’t take to the top but on a cooler day I can imagine the views from the peak are wonderful.

With Bear’s pointed-out peak still in sight we carried on the same route through Masca, an active volcanic area with thickets of forests. There is a conveniently located car-park at the foot of the trail and the path up the volcano is a gradual slope so we were just about practically dressed-enough to tackle it. Trainers are necessary! The green of the foliage and the black of the volcanic rocks was really something to behold, we spent around two-hours here just soaking up the nature and views.

Playa Montana: Bambi’s first nudist beach experience.
While Bear is quite accustomed to shedding his clothes without so much as batting an eye-lid I wasn’t immediately as brave. We parked up just on the roadside overlooking the beach. The beach was populated mainly with couples (of which I think we were without a doubt the youngest) the occasional lone wolf (male, obviously) and just a couple of families and children… Thankfully, in my case, it wasn’t as busy as we had expected and I was comforted to see I wasn’t the only shy one around! The majority of the nudies, like us were occupying the space around the base of the rocky Cliffside, which meant if you were a first timer you weren’t in awkward full-view with people standing over you or kicking sand in those hard-to-reach places every two minutes. Eventually we ventured in amongst the cliffs were there are the occasional sheltered caves but still in the sun! We took a few beverages and spent a good afternoon here. If it’s a bucket-list dream of yours to free your spirit (or just your private parts) on a beach then this is a good place to start. It’s clean, relatively-quiet and much to Bear’s approval you might catch a glimpse of the occasional slow-motion busty female running in to the sea. Ps, don’t be that guy taking photos, It’s awkward for everyone.

Siam Mall, is rated highly as a must-visit which, like any shopping centre if you’re really in-need of some retail therapy or you forgot to pack your trunks is probably apt. But, stop-me-if-you disagree I can’t really understand the necessity to visit a mall which is full of European and International chain-stores which we have here in the UK and miss out on much needed vitamin D which y’know, we’re not so bountiful here in England with, not only that but it’s not the biggest so we just can’t fathom the fuss. It was located just a short drive away from the hotel approximately fifteen minutes, so perhaps as a rainy-day alternative.
Prejudice aside, the mall boasts a food court with a variety of restaurants dedicated to International cuisines, it was clean and impressively decorated for the festive period.

For anyone considering visiting The Hard Rock Hotel Tenerife, you’ll be pleased to hear it wasn’t always necessary to venture far from our resort, Playa Las Galgas is approximately an eight-minute walk from the resort and was a popular shale/shell beach cove. The water is a clear and bright blue which stretches out for miles around without becoming too deep so as you can imagine it was quite populated with families with young children and Playa Paraiso is a private beach, accessible from the hotel itself.

Bambi recommends taking a bottle of wine and a blanket (or towel) and watching the sun sink into the sea, perfection.

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